Hairy Woman, Walking Down The Street: Would This Really Be The Kind You’d Like To Meet?

I’m a really girly girl. I straighten my hair every day, I love make up and it can take up to an hour and a half for me to be completely ‘ready’ for a night out. I blow all my money on clothes and spend hours on clothing websites. However, there’s one thing I really hate doing. Hair removal.

I have thick dark brown hair, which is gorgeous on my head. As for everywhere else: I shave my legs, wax my arm pits, wax my stomach, pluck my eyebrows, hair removal cream my top lip, hair removal cream my bikni line, shave/hair removal my actual lady bits, bleach my back (in the summer), and I’m thinking about waxing my arms. Oh and I exfoliate prior to this and then moisture afterwards. Coupled with the fact I have sensitive skin I’m always battling against the threat of irritation, spots or rashes so I have to test each product 24 hours before. Oh, and I do this twice a week! Four times in the summer! Not to mention the money I spend on all of this (baring in mind hair removal cream is about £4 and I use two bottles a month) it takes ages. The whole process can take up to 3 hours.

I’m not going to pretend I don’t love the feeling of smooth bare legs in the summer or that I’d enjoy having a moustache but it seems ridiculous that every time I see my boyfriend (even in the dead of winter) I need to have an entirely sleek and smooth body. I’ve never really discussed in detail how my boyfriend feels about stubble but I doubt he’d like it. The thing I don’t understand is the shaving of pubes. It makes me look like I’m six years old and a pornstar. Maybe that’s the point. I don’t know understand why it is so unacceptable in our society to be au natureale. The hair grows for a reason, and if it was so unnatural it wouldn’t grow so why must have little hair be waxed, shaved, epilated or chemically pulled out? Not to mention, some of these treatments are painful!

If I could I’d let my leg hair grow all winter to provide a nice warm coat (hey, in Britain I need it) then I’d pay for it to waxed off by a professional at the beginning of the summer. My boyfriend often asked me why I don’t just get waxed…..I can’t afford it! If every single little hair has to be removed then I can’t afford a wax once a month. I’m a student! I understand that men shave their faces every day and ‘trim their garden’ but with an electric shaver it takes a few minutes. To gain a smooth shave on my legs it takes about 15 minutes.

All the other beauty treatments I do (from dying my hair to wearing foundation) I do for myself. I feel like I shave to be accepted in society. It’s not something I enjoy at all. Paticularly the pubes, as they terrify me when I’ve just shaved them. It looks like an alien.

So my choice is to continue with my hair removal treatments and occassionally bitch and moan about it or stage a Julia Roberts Esque protest. And I totally love Julia Roberts. I think she’s beautiful and a brilliant actress. Pretty Woman is my favourite film of all time, but still, I cringe when I see this photo of her at the premiere of Notting Hill.

I think I’ll just stick with the razor. Sorry, Jules.