"The sex was amazing, until N-Dubz came up on shuffle…."
Music is something I’m really afraid of when it comes to sex. Sometimes it can be tantric and wonderful and really add to the moment. Usually it’s just plain embarrassing. The first time I ever did anything vaguely sexual with Tristan Sean Kingston’s Beautiful Girls came up on my ipod shuffle. (If you haven’t heard it, please listen here) Anyway, that was pretty awful for me. But, then I started thinking and chances are someone else (with slightly different music taste) would probably find it perfectly acceptable.
When I was about 15 people I knew starting actually ‘doing it.’ Obviously, I wasn’t having sex. But it felt like everyone was (actually, about 3 of my friends). I was round a friend’s house and she had her ipod plugged in and asked me to put some music on, so I selected her ‘Chilling’ playlist as that’s exactly what we were doing. She turned around irate and shouted, ‘Why the hell have you put my sex playlist on?’ Mortifying memory for me even after 5 years. Anyway, her sex playlist was nothing like I would have imagined.
In films (and I’m talking the kind of films I watched when I was 15 so The Notebook* etc) the music is always soft and gentle during the sex scene. I’m thinking more ‘Make You Feel My Love’ by Adele, originally Bob D before you all shout at me, rather than ‘You’re Makin’ Me High’ by Toni Braxton. So I always imagined that sex music was gentle and nice- my first sex playlist contained Death Cab for Cutie and Coldplay!
Then I gave up with music during sex by and large. Until I came to University, where the walls are thin and I live with fourteen other people who I’m sure would rather hear my music than the creaking of a very old bed and/or heaven forbid my cries of passion. I pay for my spotify so I didn’t have to worry about adverts thankfully, but the main thing I wondered was WHAT music to play. So much so that so far I’ve just chucked on my current month’s playlist and hoped for the best.
Today I decided, I’d like to create a sexy playlist. But what the hell music did I find sexy? And surely did it not depend on the type of sex I was having? Were songs about sex sexy? Or was it the actual rhythm that was sexy? Was a sexy song a song I’d listen to at another time? The Smiths are my favourite band but would it ever be appropriate to have sex to one of their songs?
So I did what I always do when I’m confused, I asked the good people of Facebook. And because my friends are wonderful I got so many replies. And it was all so different. Slow RnB- Ne-yo, Pretty Ricky, Marvin Gaye. ‘Scary’ rock music- Nirvana, The Mars Volta. John Mayer. Prince. To name but a few. I asked my flatmates (who I love so much, there you go guys, thank you for reading) and everyone felt differently from Toots and the Maytals to Def Leppard. I was more confused than ever.
I started making a tentative list, and it all went wrong. I’ve had great sex to Arcade Fire but could I find a song that I found actively ‘sexy’? No. I’ve had amazing sex to Bon Iver but same problem. I think ‘Time is Running Out’ by Muse is a really sexy song, but I don’t think I want to have sex to a song with lyrics such as, ‘You will be the death of me.’
Everyone else seems to know what they like to listen to when they get down, whether it be Ne-yo or The Mars Volta and I just don’t have a clue.
So help me out everyone…here is my sex playlist, tell me what I need to do to it. Is it too slow? Is it too fast? I want it to encompass romantic lovemaking and also the occasional dirty fuck. Help! Is John Mayer too 30 year old mum? Is Ellie Goulding too main stream?
Here’s a link to my playlist: Sex?
Facebook me with your advice, I need your help. My sex life is suffering.
*I really don’t like the Notebook. Soz.
Of course I know what to listen to after sex… Always this.