The Dailies: A Trip to the Career Service Turned into an Existential Crisis & other white, middle class problems

by alexxxxxandra

Recently, I went to the visit the Careers Service at my University to ask them to help me sort out my cluttered, and quite frankly, confused CV. My trip to Careers for quite baffling, but not unpleasant.

I was led into a windowless room and I sat opposite someone whose name I can’t remember (sorry), so I will call her Anne. For some reason, she had a large bee in her bonnet about the fact I hadn’t included my dissertation topic as part of the ‘Education’ section of my CV. 

Is it normal to put your dissertation on your CV? It does not seem normal to me.

“You really should include your dissertation topic in your CV. It’s very interesting to employers. What are you doing your dissertation on?” She said.

“Err, it’s Creative Writing.” 

“What’s the title?”

“It’s called Populate.”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s, err, post-apocalyptic lesbian fiction. It’s kind of like a gay Hunger Games.”

Anne looked confused and said no more about my dissertation topic.

I felt like I had already failed whatever prospective job interview I might be given in her eyes.

She then said, “One of the key things your CV is missing is your hobbies.”

Oh, Anne I didn’t know you were a humorist!

I laughed. Anne was looking at me expectantly. 

Anne wasn’t a humorist, she was being serious. 

“Employers want to know you’re not just some work-a-holic loser.”

“But I am..” I replied.

Anne smiled awkwardly, then leant closer to me and pressed on counsellor-style, 

“You must have some hobbies. What are they?”

“I do the Student Newspaper…” I replied, awkwardly.

“Yes, I know about that. But what do you do to unwind?”

Masturbate.

“Err, see my friends?”

“That’s great, so we’ll put socialising in!” She began to write down socialising on my CV. In HB Pencil.

“What else? Do you like going to the cinema?”

I wanted to put my head in a blender.

“What about going to the gym?”

And turn the blender on.

 

I did escape from Anne alive. But it got me thinking. I don’t really have any hobbies. I used to go horse riding as a child. Aside from that, my hobbies have only ever been reading and writing. So essentially my degree.

Do other people have hobbies? What are they? Can one develop a hobby or is one born with it? Do employers really care about hobbies? Is Anne right?

Are we all fucked?

Answers on a postcard.

WebRep
 
currentVote
 
 
noRating
noWeight
 
 
Advertisements