A little bit portfolio, a little bit clever & mainly moronic

Tag: surrey

All That I Learnt…

I’ve finished my degree and sent off very last Stag. So it seems only fair to round up everything I’ve learnt in the past 3 years (hint: very little of it came from my course at all). 


  1. 9 times out of 10, whatever that person said, was not meant to offend. Being offended often says more about you than it does about the person that said it.
  2. It’s easy to be idealistic if you’re rich.
  3. All the good things should be internalised forever. The rest is debris.
  4. Dominos should never be consumed more than once in a week. Your bank balance will not thank you.
  5. Everyone will let you down. Even the people you thought never could. 
  6. Either hold a grudge, and never speak to that person again, or let it go. 
  7. If you say you forgive someone, you have to mean it. You have to forget what they did.
  8. Some people do not deserve your forgiveness.
  9. I will never, ever be a size 10 and it only matters if I think it does.
  10. Praise isn’t given enough. Know your own worth.
  11. There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.
  12. The last person in the room clapping for you every time, the person who always has your back…they’re the one. The rest don’t matter.
  13. 5 friends (or 4, or 3, or 2 or 1) that you can call at 5am and sob to are worth more than 500 who you can’t.
  14. The ones to let into your heart are the ones who’ve seen your worst and love you anyway.
  15. You will always think more on the things you have said/done than anyone one else will do.
  16. The longer you leave something you’re frightened of, the worse it will be.
  17. The smartest people I know never got good grades. Intelligence isn’t a fucking number.
  18. Pick yourself up and pick your friends up. 
  19. When someone impresses you, tell them. 
  20. So what if you behave badly sometimes? No one gets it right 100% of the time.
  21. Surround yourself with good people.
  22. Having a good, kind heart is worth more than any other thing in this world and anyone who tells you differently is wrong. 

With my last Stag. Thank you Surrey.


The Dailies: Hidden Guildford

OK so I’ve lived in Guildford, Surrey for three years and coming from the exciting metropolis that is London, I’ve often found Guildford to be a little lacking. However, Guildford has some real hidden gems. And here they are (if there’s anywhere I should include, let me know!)

University of Surrey:

Youngs Kitchen, The Living Room: Made somewhat infamous by the hilarious music video starring Em Bollon, ‘Youngs gonna give you that’, but in all seriousness, Youngs is the best eatery on Campus. Amazing food at reasonable prices.

4th Floor East Wing, Library: Best toilet for doing an undisturbed shit.

GU2 Radio: Really well produced Radio shows from Surrey students, playlist is good and up to date and the presenters are really talented. The ones to watch (or, indeed, listen to) are Adam Read, Clocking Off, Feet Up! With Knowles and Ward, Olivia Crittenden, Aaron Rush, The Ladies, Fauxlo (when she’s back on air), Liam Conroy and Emma Fleming.


StagTV The Arrest: Very impressive two part mini documentary from StagTV, starring much loved Mike Frazer. Mike is arrested and put in an actual jail cell.

Episode One:

Episode Two:


Guildford Town:

Frisky Monday’s: Once a month in the Player’s Lounge of Casino playing the best Urban and Afrobeats. Casino is gross, Frisky’s is not. The toilets are clean, the music is good, the bar is well stocked and the company is top notch. Well worth a visit.


Getting frisky with my girl, Bakita

The Mount: Essentially a very steep hill on the edge of town (ideal if you have a car though as you can park at the top) which gives you views of the whole of Guildford Town.


My housemates on top of the Mount in Frosty Weather.

The Canal: Again, on the edge of Town (behind Debenhams) this beautiful stretch of water is great for a summer picnic. You can rent rowing boats, there’s a lovely walled garden and The Britannia pub or The Boatman is a great pit stop for a pint.

Further afield:

The Silent Pool: A slightly terrifying place, which is rumoured to be haunted. Essentially it’s a big scary pond. If you drive there at night, take a torch and scare yourself silly. I nearly wet myself the first time I went.


The Silent Pool

The Fairy Bridge: If you keep walking along the Canal, on the same side of the Britannia, you come across a strange Fairy Bench/Bridge, which is often populated with Druids. If you follow the path that leads right from the bridge, you can climb a steep hill which takes you to possible the most awesome place in Guildford. This hill has a train track that runs underneath, beautiful views of Guildford and a possibly some sort of ancient monastery.

Surrey Hills: An area of outstanding national beauty.


Surrey Hills

The Dailies: You know you’re the Editor of your Student Newspaper when..

You almost start wishing something bad would happen so you’d have something to put on the front page.

You have cried as a direct result of InDesign.

You know everything there is to know about the NUS, yet you give a shit about less than 1 third of it.

Someone points out a spelling mistake on the front page and you decide to never speak to them again.

You have said, ‘I can’t go out tonight/meet up today/socialise/exist as an entity because [insert name of newspaper] goes to print tomorrow.’ 

You are seriously worried you will fail your degree because you spend all your time on the Student Newspaper.

Everyone who works in the Student’s Union knows you, but most of them hate you because you have written nasty things about them.

You have woken up at 3am to panic about that tiny news article you slipped in at the last minute because it wasn’t checked for libellous content.

You either love or hate your Comms Officer/Editor in Chief.

Your team think you are a crazy slave driver (they’re right). You just think they’re slacking.

You tell your friends you hate being the Editor and that you are going to quit.

You say this on a bi-daily basis.

The thing is, you fucking love it and you know you do.